With our still and movie cameras, tripods and all our kit, they had a field day at Brisbane scanners before boarding the plane to New Zealand. Put through the machine a few times and asked to open the tripod case. There was some STICKY TAPE tape in there for securing backdrops.
Security woman: You can't take that on board.
Me: Why not, we need it?
Security woman: It is a binding agent.
Me: So what's the problem?
Security woman: It can be used to disable crew.
Me: We've carried it all around the world many times before, no problem.
Security woman: But you're not allowed to take it.
Me: Do I look like a bloody Muslim?
Security woman (voice raised): I did not say that.
Me: Bloody ridiculous.

The security woman triumphantly marched off clutching my sticky tape. I'd reckon they all had a big giggle after finding that. But one of our crew had a pocket knife in his trousers on a key ring. He'd forgotten about it and did not discover it until we were at the motel in New Zealand!
Su and I have been relieved of nail clippers, nail files, eye glasses screwdriver, folding pliers, bottles of Nivea cream, Oil of Ulan, etc. Travel is no longer a pleasure as petty officials (paid for by us travelers) seem to take delight in finding something just to justify their existence.
Another friend had an Allen Key for a scope mount in his luggage, leaving for England. They confiscated the Allen key which happens to be a different size than what he could get in the UK.
So don't take any allen keys, sticky paper, surgical or masking tape or maybe even Band-Aids!
What can we do? Bloody nothing, except avoid travelling. If less and less people flew, the airlines would soon pressure government to change tactics, or go broke!

A U.S. Chalk Leader for the flight home from Afghanistan similarly reports:
'When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started.

'First, everyone was forced to get off the plane- even though the plane wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the I.N.G. get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine. It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an 5.56mm M4 Carbine and some, like me, were also carrying a 9mm M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

'The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it re-inspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to re-inspect our Cargo- just to inspect us again: Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, re-inspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. OK, whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN. This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols. So we're in line, going through one at a time.

'One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:
TSA guy: You can't take those on the plane.
Soldier: What? I've had them since we left country.
TSA guy: You're not suppose to have them.
Soldier: Why?
TSA guy: They can be used as a weapon.
Soldier: [touches butt stock of the M4 carbine] But this actually is a weapon. And I'm allowed to take it.
TSA guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't have bullets.
Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?
TSA guy: [awkward silence]
Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get  the f**k out of here. I'll buy you a new set.
Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

To top it off, the TSA demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive residue" detection. Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who the F**K is hiring these people?

This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon. Can someone please tell me What the F**K happened to OUR country while we were gone?
Sgt. Mad Dog Tracy

  T.B. Bechtel, a City councilor from Newcastle in Australia, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, albeit to thunderous applause from the audience.

His Statement...
'If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camelshagger will save just one Australian, American or Canadian life, then I have only three things to say:
  Red is positive,
  Black is negative,
  And make sure his nuts are wet.'

  Bushfires in Victoria, with hundreds of deaths and 1,000+ homes destroyed. This sad loss can be attributed as much to 'greenies' and environmentalists as to weather and arson. People are fined for clearing firebreaks. A home-owner with the only house standing in the village now, was fined for clearing a firebreak months ago; it cost him $100,000 in fines and legal fees. His house was spared. To clear undergrowth and timber, Victorians need an 'environmental impact study' done, to certify that no tree frog, rare insect or marsupial will be harmed or lose its home! And this costs so much time and money. Like everywhere else in the civilized world, 'greenies' are pushing their weird agenda. 'Safe the forests'... for bushfires! And regarding the 'carbon footprint', we've heard that the Victorian bushfires burnt as much as a whole year's industry in Australia. Should 'greenies' be billed for their carbon footprint; people and factories are going to be billed for the amount of carbon they produce.
We have heard that the Qld. Govt. is funding a study of how much greenhouse gasses are emitted from sheep rectums in this state, to gauge the impact on the environment of their waste gasses (read 'farts'?). And 'save the sharks' - they've killed 10+ swimmers in Oz in 2009. And 'save the crocodiles', they've eaten a few people in Qld. & N.T. this year too. 

  Anti-gun?
In a recent radio interview, former Australian commander-in-chief Major General Peter Cosgrove
was badgered by a feminist ABC anti-gun reporter. A precis of that interview, after it was reported
that a Boy Scout Troop was to visit the military base...
Reporter: What are you going to teach these young boys on their visit.
Cosgrove: Climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
Reporter: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
Cosgrove: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
Reporter: Don’t you admit this is a terribly dangerous activity to teach children?
Cosgrove: I don’t see how. We'll teach them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
Reporter: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers!
Cosgrove: Madam, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you aren’t one, are you?

  Quick thinking... A United attendant was turning lines of passengers away as a Seattle flight was delayed with security checks. An irate, well-dressed man said he needed to board, he was 1st Class.
    The UA attendant directed him back to the lounge seating; he refused saying 'Do you know who I am?' 
    The quick thinking blonde went to the public address microphone and announced 'Can any person come to gate 14 who can help us. We have a gentleman here who doesn't know who he is'.
    The flustered 1st class passenger then exploded, 'F**k you!' to which the attractive attendant replied, 'Sir, you will need to join the line for that too.' 

  Heart-warming story of the advances of women in achieving equality throughout the world...
 Barbara Walters of 60 Minutes (USA) did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about ten paces behind their husbands. She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives.
Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and  said. 'This is marvellous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women  to achieve this reversal of roles?'
'Land mines', said the woman to the translator.

  Overheard at a Tulsa gun show... A table-holder selling a worn old .303 SMLE to a prospective customer... authoritatively informed the guy that 'D.P.', stamped deep into the stock, receiver and barrel knox form, indicated Detroit Police issue!

  No.4 Mk 1 cruciform spike bayonet
Dear Sir,
A guy has a No.4 Mk I spike for sale, he told me they are very rare due to being banned by the Geneva Convention and ordered destroyed. He said some were spared and sent in with paratroopers on D-Day. This sound like a load of malarkey to me since three more Marks followed the Mk I. Was this true?
Barry G.

Hi Barry,
You're correct, malarkey about the No.4 cruciform banned. The Mk I cruciform is scarce, they were carried (along with other Marks) by British forces on D-Day. The cruciform model is scarce because many less were made. With Singer (only Mk I maker) production at 75,000 of total 4 million plus British No.4’s plus Long Branch’s 1 million, that makes a ratio of 1 in 67, at least! So it’s scarce.

  British Gov’t says No.4 Mk 1/2 is dangerous.
My local gunsmith who knows a lot about Enfields says my No.4 Mk I/2 is dangerous to shoot. After they were converted, the British government sent out an order for them not to be fired and then withdrew them all. The barrel muzzle was stamped BNP for British Nil Protection when it was sold out to the public.
Libby.

Dear Libby,
I've heard a similar one to this before... a load of codswallop. I would not trust your local Enfield expert even to replace wooden bayonet grips safely! BNP is British Nitro Proof, stamped to indicate its passing proof, a much heavier cartridge load to test the barrel and breech strength. If your friend can come up with any British MOD document withdrawing the No.4 rifle conversions due to safety concerns, I will cheerfully write him a cheque for $1,000.00. The No.4 remains one of the safest rifles to shoot, even if it may be in used or poor condition.